Something New

“You are pregnant. You had a miscarriage.” Those are two sentences I never thought I would hear together. It was a surreal moment. Even though a miscarriage was the only thing I knew could account for my symptoms, I had been almost freakishly calm until the door closed behind the doctor who delivered the verdict. That’s when it hit me. The sobs came abruptly and caught me completely off guard. My husband covered me with his steady comforting embrace. After several minutes, I was able to regain my composure. I looked at my parents through tear clouded eyes and said something like “I’m sorry. I thought I would have handled that better.” I felt bad for causing such heightened emotions in the room. We had been laughing and making jokes just a few minutes earlier. It felt odd to switch gears so quickly. I didn’t realize how absurd that apology was until my parents told me that was to be expected.  Over the past month since we lost our baby, I’ve experienced grief in a totally different w