Thursday, December 5, 2013

Would I do it All Over Again?

This is something that I posted on my facebook a few months ago, but I want to include it in my blog. This basically sums up my view of motherhood so far. Happy reading! 

September 20, 2013
Would I do it All Over Again?
Having kids is probably one of the most difficult, challenging, and humbling experience a person can have. I have noticed over years of speaking with mothers about motherhood, that many women have a hard time dealing with the changes in their lives and bodies after kids. I had a mom ask me, not too long ago, if I ever feel depressed by the changes in my body. That made me want to share my view of motherhood and a bit of my journey of assumptions.
Going into pregnancy there were many assumptions that I made about pregnancy & delivery, my life as a mother, my post-pregnancy body, and my life in general. Here are some of them.

Assumptions about Pregnancy & Delivery:
• I will be tired (check!) and emotional/moody (not as much as I expected gratefully)
• I will experience weird cravings (I was disappointed by my lack of cravings. I thought that would be the one (or two, three, four, etc) time in my life I could eat weird things without being judged).
• Delivery will be the most painful experience I’d ever experience (Most uncomfortable, yes. Most painful, gratefully, no. Injuring my back as a teenager was more painful.)

Assumptions about my life as a mother:
• Motherhood would be hard (check!),
• Rewarding (check!),
• Fun (check!),
• Surprising (check!),
• Fulfilling (check!),
• Challenging (double check since starting the potty training journey! =p)

Assumptions about my post-pregnancy body:
• I will get stretch marks (check!),
• My boobs will be ginormous (check!),
• I will gain a lot of weight that will be hard to lose (check!).

Assumptions about my life in general:
• Anthony and I will both be sleep-deprived (triple check! – I didn’t think it would last so long. I guess that’s what happens when you decide to have two kids in less than 1 ½ yrs)
• We will have less money, since babies are expensive (check, but God is our provider, so we don’t have to worry!)

Here are some things I didn’t assume, but know now:
• Nursing can be painful and frustrating. I had heard mom’s complain about that, but couldn’t relate. I remember thinking “How hard can it be? God designed up to nurse right?!?” What is that verse? “Pride comes before the fall (Prov. 16:18).”
• Making time to cook, go shopping, clean, etc., will feel (and sometime be!) nearly impossible
• I will stare at my kids for ridiculous amounts of time, and it doesn’t get old
• I want to capture EVERY SINGLE moment of cuteness on camera, because I don’t ever want to forget
• Watching my kids grow and learn new things is AMAZING! I get super excited when something new happens. I can’t wait to share it with my family and friends.
• There are many more, but I would be here all day if I tried remembering all of them.
As I reflect on all of the changes I’ve gone through since having kids, I have come to a very simple conclusion. If I had the choice to do it all over again, I most certainly would. All of the stress, physical and emotional changes, financial cost, and other “negative” consequences of having children, don’t even come close to outweighing the joy of having Natalie and Enzo. I can’t imagine missing out on having these two precious kids. I look forward to having more children, if God will give them to me. And if that means being less physically attractive (which my husband says is not the case), or having less money, or more challenges, or more stress, BRING IT ON!!! I love my kids too much to let that stop me! My challenge to all you other moms out there: Be confident in yourself and remember why your body doesn't look the same. Do you think it’s worth it too?!? I hope so! May the Lord bless you on your journey through motherhood! -Johanna

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